Cheating - but a post nonetheless

One of my colleagues found out today that her baby - the one that is steadily growing inside her and causing her blouses to blouse ever more prominently - is a boy.

She had the same reaction that many women have when they find out they're having boys.

"I'm happy! Really. And it won't be my last one. I'm definitely having more."

Girls want a baby to dress in perfect little clothes and tiny patent leather Mary Janes. Of course, we also want daughters for other reasons. But the fact is that almost every woman I've known who was pregnant wanted a daughter.

Why is that?

I've now been the mother of both a son and daughters, and I have to say that sons are much, much easier.  They're the perfect first child for the ill-prepared. Sorry, guys, but it's true.

Years ago, when another friend found out she was carrying a son, we had a similar conversation. She told me that, when she found out her baby was a boy, she thought of all the stupid, redneck, hot-dog colored men she met in the course of her business day, and she fretted that her son might become one of them.

"Leave the South," was my first advice.

My second advice was, "Look at your husband."

As women, we carry with us this archetype of The Boor. Sweaty. Willfully, gleefully stupid. Leering. Boozy. Bigoted. Sexist. Borderline illiterate. Maybe he belongs to a particularly unsavory fraternity. Maybe he commits a date rape or three every weekend.

When we women are lying on the exam table while the sonographer oils us up and slides the sensor over our taut bellies and proclaims, "It's a boy!" what we hear is, "It's a Boor!"

But to all you women who are mourning just a little the fact that you won't be buying Mary Janes this time around, let me entreat you to stop thinking about The Boor, and start thinking about your husbands. Think about the way that he loves you because you're strong and independent and smart. Think about the way that he is adorable and sweet and funny. Think about how diametrically opposed he is to The Boor.

The world needs more men like that. The world needs more men who were sons of strong, smart, independent women. The world needs more men who are feminists, for goodness' sake.

And if it's clothes you're worried about, there are options.

Comments

[ppb]

Why is this cheating--I think it's a good post.

[Debbie in the UK]

I was the woman who wanted a son. I was a little disappointed when she was a girl. I always thought I would parent boys. Eventually I had my boy and he is everything I dreamed of and he has been a breeze to parent. Mind you, I could not live without my daughter either. I am truly blessed.