Get your motor running

Do yourselves a favor and hop over to American Family and read about why we are led to believe that minivans are not cool, despite the fact that they are so OBVIOUSLY the most utterly fucking amazing vehicles on the road.

Pictured above is my minivan, with a message on the windshield that I love New York. I do.

I also love my minivan, and I don't care who knows it.

And the more I think about AmFam's theory that the minivan's second-class status springs from its primary function to accommodate the needs of women and children, the angrier I get. Meanwhile, what are the cool rides? Collateral Damage-Mobiles and Penile Facsimiles.

No thank you.

The minivan is a marvel of function and comfort. Mine has dedicated slots for 10 beverages. That's three more than the number of passengers it can carry. This is a vehicle with me and my predeliction for simultaneously nursing both a cup of coffee and a bottle of water in mind.

All that and I can see over the steering wheel and drive as fast as I wanna.

I got my first and only speeding ticket driving my mommyvan along the rolling hills of central New York.

My biggest fear about next winter is that I will have to give up my van because it doesn't have 4WD and may not be able to make it up my steep driveway. If that's the case, I'm cleaning it up, and upgrading to a model that can handle my drive.

I want that bumper sticker that says Fight the Man - Drive A Minivan.

I want an airbrushed T-shirt with my van on it.

I want to put spinners on every cup holder.

Comments

[Kelly M.]

You are hillarious. I have to be honest though, I am 28 with no kids and I used to work at a car dealership. Sometimes I was able to drive vehicles home, one day I drove a minivan and I...wait for it......I....LOVED it. Yes I did.

So enjoy.

[stepblog]

I just found your blog today. I too had a post about a mini van. I too titled it, Get your motor running. And followed it up with one of mini-van love, called Paint it Black. After reading this I kind of felt like I did the first time I went in Restoration Hardware, and saw all the neat stuff I thought I alone like mass marketed, and realized everyone liked that stuff, and perhaps I wasn't so unique after all. But, judging from your blog, at least I'm in good company.